Pictures of Bang Bao, Ko Chang

Finally I can share where I've been staying for over the last two weeks- and for the next two, as well!

This is the living room/deck of the house I am staying in-



and this is where we have dinner-



and where we swim when we go snorkeling-



and the sunsets and amazing colors I see-





I swear I'm not bragging or anything like that ;)

So I ended up changing my flight for the beginning of January. It was just too soon to leave Thailand! I am having so much fun in Ko Chang, with Barbara and Nui and everyone else; it's been real nice to just sit and learn to relax. So many things go through my head through out the day, including...what if I stayed here? What if I return here at the end? It's tempting...this experience, meeting so many people and seeing so many sights really makes me think about where I am with so many things and realizing that not everything is as complicated or as impossible as I'd like to believe (for my own security's sake, I think). I'm back in Bangkok for a few days to pick up my visa to India, extend my tourist visa for Thailand and fix my camera (it fell and now it doesn't focus), but then I'll go back to Ko Chang for the holidays. I'll also be meeting up with Barbara here, since she has a photo shoot for something, so maybe I'll get lucky to stick my head in and see what that's like. It's funny because there is no sign of Christmas in Bang Bao, but as soon as I returned to Bangkok- Christmas music was playing loud in the subway stations! I suddenly felt like I was jolted back to city life; back to another reality of hustle and bustle (and commercialism, of shopping, of time = money...). It's funny how we tend find a new appreciation for things when we suddenly don't have them in front of us... but I'll be back in Ko Chang in no time.

Here's an album of Bang Bao:

Bang Bao

At home

I've just about lost track of days and time. It's been two weeks since I arrived to Bang Bao pier and found Nui and Barbara's guest house. The houses, restaurants and business are all built along the pier so everything is litterally over the water on stilts. It's so amazing to wake up every morning to emerald green water and green mountains! I haven't been in any one place for this long since I started traveling (3 months today!) and I love it. I feel so safe and so comfortable with them- it's funny because I feel like I've known them for much longer and I truly, truly appreciate their friendship and how they've made me feel at home. I also like it here because of the close circle of friends they have: There's Mr. Ist (pronounced "eat"), an older skinny man who runs a tour agency made out of all sorts of wooden hand painted signs (he was just working on a new sign today). He also has dumbbells so I also visit him to get a workout. Then there's Robert (Pbird) who runs a snorkeling tour, he owns a boat and restaurant. He is so sweet and so nice! It's fun to go snorkeling with him because it feels like one big party on his boat; he does private tours so it's basically a few of us that go snorkeling and visit nearby islands and beaches. Oh, the water is so amazing! I am having a problem with my external hard drive, so I'll have to post pictures another day. Then there is PYan (we also say Mr. Policeman) who owns one of the guesthouses and is a cop. He is so quiet and shy. He reminds me so much of my dad that it almost makes me want to give the man a hug. They are all such good, respectful people. They come over the house to eat, drink and hang out just about every evening. There's always something to eat here. It just feels so homey here; like I belong somewhere. It's so nice to have this for a little while.

I also cook here! That's been really nice because everyone really appreciates and likes my food. They all say- oh, Mexican food! I crack up because of course, for me it's just plain cooking, but for them it's "Mexican food"! (I'll have to talk about my ethnic identity and representation another time). I made carne con chile and papas, rice (the way we make it) last week; the day before yesterday I made fried chicken (oh that turned out real good) and yesterday I made a ton of ceviche (oh they loved it!). The ceviche took a long time to make. Back at home we just go to the market and buy a few pounds of grounded fish; we never even see the actual whole fish. Here though, I walked to the pier with Mr. Ist, we jumped on a fishing boat and I had to pick out the fish myself (caught from yesterday afternoon). I was laughing in my head thinking- I usually don't do this- it's my mom who goes out and buys the fish (which is neatly cut into fillet)! And now here I am picking out the whole fish? I don't even know which kind of fish it is, let alone the concept of weight. But, I figured, it's a white meat, anything will cook with lime. So I picked out a long yellow barracuda and two smaller black barracuda fish (I learned what they were later). Mr. Ist helped out by cutting the fish, taking off the bones and the skin. I had to do the grounding myself with a butcher knife. We had extra guests last night for dinner and drinks and they all complimented me on the ceviche, so I felt very proud and accomplished with my meal last night. Of course, I miss my family and friends, but I don't miss my life there. It's like a social gathering every night and I caught myself the other night feeling like I've never felt farther away, but in a good way, you know? I don't even know if I'm making sense. I like walking down the pier (feels like a street with markets and businesses along the side, then you look down and remember it's all on water) and saying hi to people, knowing where to go to buy vegetables, good bread, things like that. I'm also getting a deeper understanding of Thai culture that I know I wouldn't have seen elsewhere.

Something else I have really enjoyed is living and feeling so close to nature- away from the noisy, busy city. We're on the water, which is so relaxing and peaceful. Some people have asked me- what do you do all day? What have you done so far?* I respond by saying, nothing, I've been sitting around, watching the water, observing the birds and enjoying my time. It's funny because I've even written a lot less on my journal; less and less preoccupies my head these days. Staying on the pier I pay more attention to the weather everyday- the wind, the waves, what bugs come out at night (it depends on the weather), the alignment of stars, the moon cycles; I'm just happy here. There was a full moon on Friday and it was simply beautiful; it was so nice to watch the bright moon rise over the mountains and be reflected on the water! It was such an amazing sight! The tide goes all the way out and there is no water at night and in the morning the tide is so high you would think it's going to flood over; and it's always like this on the full moon. Nature works in such incredible ways.

*[And I think of my theory of the effects of capitalism on tourists (especially those on short holidays)- we are engrossed with the idea of time = money. This is how most of us live our lives- by the clock. So if we're not doing something productive (ie., sight seeing) everyday while on vacation, it's a waste of a day, and we get caught up feeling like we haven't done anything, we haven't maximized our time in Thailand. I felt this several times along the trip, but since arriving to Bang Bao, I've really learned to relax. I am just living here, I don't have to do a tour or go out every day.]

Overall, I'm doing well and feel very safe. We have satellite tv so I can get to watch news on BBC and Aljazeera to keep up with what's going on with the world (we also have a few movie channels. I was following the news about the protests at the Bangkok airport (I have pictures of protesters putting up tires to block the entrances), and I was also aware of the attacks in Mumbai. Thank goodness I didn't have a flight scheduled around those days! I have so many pictures saved so hopefully I'll get the chance to post something soon.

So when do I leave Thailand? People ask me, so how long are you staying here? I carefully say "I have a flight scheduled for Thurday, the 18th to New Delhi," notice how I don't definitively say that I'm leaving on Thursday (yes, this Thursday). I still have the choice to postpone my flight, but I'm not sure. I am so comfortable and I love it here, but at the same time, I want to go to India and see new sights, but then again, Christmas and New Year's day is two weeks away- why would I want to leave my new friends now? Then again, I'm sure I will meet people in Delhi, but it won't be the same. See my thought process? It's every where. So, I'm still debating when I actually move on. We shall see!

On an island

Estoy muy bien. I arrived to the island of Ko Chang on Monday night- I wonder sometimes, is this just luck, or are some things predestined? I met great, great down to earth people (funny story about that) and am really enjoying myself with a pier community. This is about as much time I am on the computer these days- just enough to quickly say hi on this thing (but not enough to really reply to an email, or call anyone). Luego hablo. Did you see the smiling moon the other night? I don't know if that was all over the world or just here- but on Monday night two stars and a crescent moon made such a cute smiling face. Someone told me that this only happens once every 24 years! I took pictures, I'll see later if they come out. Ko Chang is beautiful- but it's definitely the people that have really made this part of the trip special...I'm even considering changing my flight to New Delhi to a later date, and extending my tourist visa again...we'll see.

It's probably too much information, but let me tell you anyway

Yesterday I left Chiang Rai to stop at Sukothai before getting back to Bangkok (and I just read that there are protests in the city but they are by the airport which is far from where I'll be when I get there, so no se preocupen, mami y papi). The picture above is from the famous Buddha statue at Wat Si Chum in the historical park. I was actually on my way straight to Bangkok, but then I came across a UNESCO World Heritage magazine that featured the sites in Thailand and saw that Sukothai was listed with this famous Buddha statue (and his famous long fingers), so the other night I reworked my plans to make a two night stop here.

This is from what I wrote in my journal yesterday (all that traveling to get here)-

There was no way around wasting a day of traveling. All the buses leaving from Chiang Rai to Sukothai left during the day, so I took the earliest one at 7:30 am thinking I would get to Sukothai early enough to maybe see part of the historical park. (nope!) The trip took 7 1/2 hours! (I thought it would have been 6). I am still sore from sitting down for so long. Anyway, I got to the bus station and all these tuk-tuk (motorcycle type cars) drivers came running to our bus to try and take us to our next spot, it was overwhelming. They all come at me at once asking- "where you going?" "where you go?" "That's far! Let me take you" I and learned from one of the drivers (who was trying to give me a ride but I was determined to either walk if it was close enough or pay the cheapest fare on a bus) that it was too far to walk and pointed to where we were in relation to the guest house I was trying to get to; damn, we are far, I realized. So once the crowd of newcomers from the bus took off to their next destinations, the waiting area got calm again and drivers hung out to wait for the the next batch, I mean, next bus of people. I sat there, too, waiting for the next local bus to get me closer to the guest house I was trying to get to; assuming the bus schedule was on time, the next one wouldn't come for another 45 minutes, and by this time I was exhausted. I had gotten my period earlier that morning, I was on the bus for 7.5 hours, and I was still recovering from a bad stomach bug and I had all these stomach rumblings and bad cramps- I didn't even dare to fart on the bus fearing the worse would happen....traveling is not just all beautiful scenery and spiritual moments. It's this stuff, too.

So, I sat there and thought about what to do, when another bus arrived at the platform and there went the group of drivers again, rushing to the new bus. Suddenly, I thought, hey, I can share a tuk-tuk with someone else! So there I go too, rushing to the new bus and looking for a solo traveler who would be willing to share a ride- I was going around asking (ok, I did this with only two people) "where you going?" "I'm going in that same direction, let's share a ride!" I was laughing in my head at the whole situation. I ended up sharing a tuk-tuk with a guy from Japan. So I still saved on my fare! I was so proud of my savings- but then I felt even more fortunate when the guy refused to let me pay for the ride at all, so I got the ride for free!

This morning-



I think I hopped on the local cargo bus this morning because aside from another old man, I was the only one on the bus headed for the historical park. I ended up helping unload vegetables from the bus at two stops, and finally, I did make it to the park. It was beautiful weather for cycling! Tonight I am having dinner with a couple I met at the park (they're from Chile) and tomorrow morning I take the first bus to Bangkok. My stomach is much better, too!

Tourism

I don't think there is much left in Thailand that hasn't been touched (or scarred) by tourism. It's such a double edged sword and think about the effects as I get off and on the tourist circuit. This picture is from a stop we made at an elephant camp on our way to Chiang Rai (by boat) a few weeks ago. This stop was just another way to make money which yes, I contributed to (not by posing with a snake or feeding the elephants but by giving in and buying an ice cream). My German companion at the time (Anja) and I decided to take the scenic route to Chiang Rai but we didn't want to stop at an elephant camp, but unless we chartered our own boat, we'd have to go on the one that everyone goes on, which stops at this place. The place keeps these huge snakes-





in cages and for a fee you could pose with them or buy fruit to feed the elephants. Those elephants were so hungry! They were trying to snatch up my camera and my ice cream. Only one boat leaves a day, around noon, so I don't think there are other groups feeding the elephants. It's amazing to be so up close to these massive animals and be able to touch their skin and look into their eyes...but then, with this up close encounter I can also see how the elephants' ankles have thinned out from wearing shackles for so long. It's a weird feeling.

Then there is the "spectacle" of the hill tribes in the north. Streets in Chiang Mai are lined up with tourist agencies offering trekking tours that rush you through bamboo rafting, elephant rides, hikes and an opportunity to see hill tribes. There is one in particular that is highly "advertised" and that is the Karen tribe (also referred to as "long neck" which really should be referred to as "shortend torso").



Y que crees? (as my dad would say)- and guess what? The Karen hill tribe village that those tourist agencies take you to is fake! I visited the Hilltribe Museum and Education Center in Chiang Rai and learned all these interesting things I know I would have never learned from any of those trekking tours. The Karen are native to Burma and it was a business man who brought many of the Karen to northern Thailand for the sole purpose of setting up a human (money making) zoo. I also learned that the reason for opium use and cultivation in the northern area of Thailand because it was introduced to the hill tribes by a British financial advisor to stimulate Thailand's economy, while "civilizing" and integrating them to mainstream society. I was just fascinated and disturbed by all this information at the museum and it made me realize how our own (my own) curiosity of wanting to see the villages within their native environment (or what my idea of that would be) can also contribute to their stagnation. What's the balance between preserving customs and traditions with advancements such as drainage systems, or insulation for homes? The museum also screens a 20 minute video about a couple who is in discussion with a village to set up an eco-lodge in the northern are of Burma and the questions they are faced with (what are the implications, the affects, etc.) in establishing this (I think I missed the part where the question should have been, do we even set up an eco lodge in the first place???). In return, the village would receive part of the profits and would be able to work for the lodge and they would also receive assistance with housing upgrades. It's true, I thought, so many of us would be curious to see cooking over an open fire (that is, if we aren't fortunate to see that for the holiday seasons in our own homes) or how they live in homes made of straw, but as soon as concrete walls are built, the romanticized image would be gone and tourism would decrease. Which, for what they actually financially gain from tourism, a decrease in it would not be so bad. They are a living culture, and they should also be able to advance. I thought- would I pay to enter a Native American reservation back at home? And would I expect to see find tipis everywhere? Of course not. So, why would I think of that here?

I also learned from Suwannee that the hill tribes do not hold official citizenship, so unless they have special permits, they are not allowed to enter main cities. I saw how officials insured this when Suwannee and I were on our way to Chiang Sean (northern Thailand) by bus and we stopped at a check-point. The military guards came in and stared everyone down and checked for photo IDs. They also looked for undocumented people who might have crossed from Burma or Laos. I thought- it's ok to have random check points like that? Just like in La Puente! And what was more (shocking, weird? I don't think I have the word for it) was to see how a guard came in at another check point and didn't even check for IDs but instead directly pointed at one man (very dark, indigenous looking man) and asked him for his identification. The man showed the guard some documents and after reviewing them, the guard let our bus pass. Isn't that racial profiling? That's just the way it is, Suwannee said.

Suwannee also shared that the government helps tribes by providing them with seeds and plots of land to harvest and sell vegetables (to prevent the opium cultivation). The vendors in Chiang Rai line up along the outside of the temple-



So much food for thought...

Massage at women's jail and skipping around northern Thailand

I've been skipping around cities in the northern part of Thailand and it's been nice to see so many green trees, fields, mountains and also learn more about the different indigenous populations in the area (known as hill tribes).

(I ordered an orange juice at the internet cafe I am writing from and the juice has salt! It's like when I eat oranges with salt back at home.)

Last time I wrote I think I mentioned that I had been traveling with a woman from Germany. We met in Ayutthaya (the next city I went to as I made my way north from Bangkok) and traveled together for about 10 days. We went to Chiang Mai where we celebrated the Loy Krathong festival and then we did some more sightseeing around the older part of the city. Oh! And I finally got a Thai massage! I went to a women's correction facility (women's jail) where they teach inmates vocational skills. It was really cool; I wish I knew how to speak Thai (although I wonder if I'd have the guts to ask anyway) to ask them about their experiences and how long they were there, etc. The women inmates who give the massages wear these nice burgundy uniforms and we wear these hospital-like clothes (we wear pants and loose shirts) and we are on a futon mattress on the floor. This is really helpful because it lets you bend and get in all sorts of positions without letting your street clothes get in the way- and oh my goodness! The masseuse sits on the floor and uses her entire body- her feet, legs, thighs, fingers, arms, elbows- even her chin! Oh, I cracked in so many places! She had me bent in all sorts of positions, I felt like a pretzel- and she was real strong. That was a great experience (it hurt too, but it was a good pain).

Next, my German companion and I went to Tha Ton, another small town where we stayed in this really nice bungalow right by the river! It was what I had imagined the greener side of Thailand would be like. After that we went to Chiang Rai and spent a few more days where we also took a cooking course. It was just my friend and me with the cooking instructor, Suwanee. It was nice because we went to the market and picked up all the fresh ingredients and she also pointed to all these sweet desserts wrapped in banana leaves; taking the course was worth it to learn about all these foods I would have never looked twice at (I wondered- what else am I missing out on??) We cooked green curry with chicken, stir-fried vegetables, tom yam soup and sweet bananas with fresh coconut cream (there is a stall at the market that processes coconuts into cream and milk). Ah, there's nothing better than eating good food with good company. I contributed some of my own "skills" and used the left over coconut cream and prepared some pina coladas (the cooking course took place at Suwanee's home and she had plenty of Malibu rum). The food was great and we got along real well with Suwanee who has had a pretty interesting life so far. She has been living in Europe (Holland, Paris and England) for the past 12 years but had just returned to Thailand to set up her new cooking business. She says the business is not enough to make her rich, but it's enough to keep her happy (and be her own boss!). It inspires me to think about how I can move to Mexico for a few months (or years)...

My companion and I split (she was bound for Cambodia) and the next day I joined Suwanee and took a bus to a nice small town that's along the Mekong River called Chiang Sean. It was really nice to sit by the river and see Laos right across. I rode a bicycle a few more kilometers north to see the "Golden Triangle." It is the famous point where Burma, Laos and Thailand meet and only divided by the rivers. I put the name in quotation marks because there's nothing really golden about it (it's more a tourist trap with a lot of souvenir shops) but it's still an incredible view from the top of a temple. The name is actually derived from the the opium cultivation and profits made in that area (and much more politics goes along with that story, of course). Finally, yesterday we went to another city (Mae Sai) and I crossed the border to Burma and got another 30 days on my tourist visa for Thailand. It's just a border, but honestly Burma (now officially called Union of Myanmar) felt like almost another world. Much, much more poverty, and dozens of children (carrying babies on their shoulders with shawls) asking for money; it was overwhelming walking back into Thailand and it made me think about the privilege of traveling, freely crossing borders and the privilege of a passport. Looking over to Burma from the hotel I stayed at that night (with only a river diving us) reminded me of when I've been in Ciudad Juarez or Tijuana in Mexico looking over the border to see the US; the universals of border countries- so far, yet so, so far away.

Now I'm back in Chiang Rai. It's nice because it's a familiar place now and I have a good sense of the size and orientation of the town. Tomorrow morning I go on a hike to Mae Salong. I realized I didn't even write about what I learned about the political situation of the hill tribes of northern Thailand. Ok, that's definitely for next time.

Thailand and more pictures!

From The last South Korea

I know, I haven't written in a while; I'm not on the computer long enough to write and download/post pictures (it takes a few hours!). South Korea was nice. I am happy to have met Kyoung Min and get to sight see with her. By this point I began to feel lonely and sort of out of it, so I am really, really thankful for her company. She also helped me find an outdoor sporting good store where I bought a new backpack. I was happy and feeling official again. I know that sounds dumb, but I was feeling sort of out of it and a little homeless with my small back pack and a half torn shopping paper bag (this lady even pointed to my bag at a hostel and said/asked-is that trash? I can toss it out for you). I laughed and thought, I do look pretty sad, don't I? I thought, when you're traveling and have nothing else, your backpack and belongings become real important and although I enjoyed those three weeks of carrying only a small backpack (and later a paper bag), it didn't leave me much room to buy anything I needed (like a sweater, or extra pants) or souvenier shop. Interestingly, I think buying a new backpack also helped to boost my animo (can't fully describe it in English, it boosted my energy?).

From The last South Korea

I saw many interesting sights in Korea including the set of the movie Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter and Spring. This was the main reason I wanted to visit South Korea, and the bigger reason for why I decided to begin this trip in Asia. I read in an interview with the film creator/director that he first begins with finding the location then writing the story around it. Visiting the lake and imagining the four seasons in this lake, I can see the inspiration!

Here are pictures from South Korea (including the lake where the movie was filmed and a prison-now-turned-into museum):

The last South Korea

Now I am in Thailand. I spent the first few days in Bangkok- it is crazy! It reminded me of Mexico, DF just with more motorcycles and tuk-tuks (small three wheeled motorcycles). I accidentally erased all the pictures from those first two and a half days, so I'll have to go back. Then I went to another city called Ayutthaya which used to be the capital of Thailand. Many beautiful old temples are here and it is safe and small enough to get around on your own with a bicycle. This is where I met a 41 yr. old woman from Germany. I was about to sit at this outdoor restaurant when we spotted each other and I smiled because she had a similar guidebook to the one I had. She asked me if I wanted to join her, sure! She was also traveling on her own and it was so nice to have someone to chat with- we both expressed that sentiment aloud. We agreed to sightsee for the rest of the day together and later that evening while we were having dinner we spotted another man sitting by himself and we asked if he wanted to join us, sure! He is a 43 yr. old man from Britain. So now it is the three of us. I was so amused at how we all met and connected and where we found ourselves in this particular place in time: the woman defied her job's vacation time limit and was spending some much needed vacation on her own, the man is visiting the place where he was originally going to spend with his partner for Christmas and New Year's but now is emotionally recovering from their break up (it was a very long relationship) and me, I was beginning to feel out of it and lonely from taking a long break from a completely different reality. It has been nice to travel with others and a good experience and lesson on group dynamics and my own behavior (with extended new company I remember that I actually do enjoy my solitude and independence). It's a learning lesson on compromises. I decided to take a break today and spend it catching up on emails and posting pictures. The three of us are now in Chiang Mai just in time for the Loy Krathrong festival.

From Ayutthaya and Loy Krathong Festival, Thailand

Loy Krathrong Festival is celebrated on the full moon in November each year. People release hot air lanterns to the sky and place mini lanterns in the river. It was incredible to see hundreds of lanterns go up in the sky and also moving to see the emotions on family's faces as they prayed on their lantern just before they released it. It was amazing to see all those lanterns (they looked like bright stars) and to imagine all those thoughts and prayers floating up to the full moon and reflected on the river.

Food- I wish I had more stomachs to keep eating all the delicious food! I can't get enough of Thai spicy salds, Pad Thai, fried bananas, and pinneaple juice shakes! Luckily I haven't gotten sick yet so I have a pretty good appetite and stomach to handle and try all sorts of delicious foods. So much to do and eat! I am really enjoying my time here!

Album of Thailand pictures (including festival)-

Ayutthaya and Loy Krathong Festival, Thailand

Thoughts and Pictures!

Really enjoying myself and taking it all in...



South Korea is really nice and there is so much to see. I've been sightseeing and going on hikes (picture above is from Mt. Namsan). The only thing that I have a hard time dealing with are travlers that make ignorant comments. I had dinner with four guys from the hostel last night; they were from the US, Canada, and France. One guy (Canada) said "Koreans are stupidly nice," and the other guy said (from the US) "Man I hate sitting on the floor, c'mon Korea, haven't you heard of chairs?" I did tell the guy who said the first comment to check himself (ok, in more articulate words, of course) but I wasn't in the second conversation to say anything to the second comment. By that time, the guy from France and I were having our own conversation. Overhearing those two other guys just bothered me because I thought- these are the guys that have the privilege of traveling and get to know the world and talk like this and reinforce the stereotype of the arrogant "American tourist" to others. In addition, they see a few places in one country, spend a few weeks or months there, and now make over generalizations and make critiques about a place they barely know- AND take this back to their country. We don't come with open minds but with narrow views and hold up the hosting countries to the standards we are familiar with. Of course, some may say that this is natural- but I can't help but to have a problem with it; I don't know what impression I give off, but I am definitely conscious of the fact that I come from the US when interacting with others and that they have preconceptions of our country. This is not to say that I am not myself, either. I also remind myself that of course, these two guys are also two of the thousands of people that travel, and they may not all be like this, and they're not only from the US, but from all over the world. And lastly, I think, well, who am I to be judging? I have my opinions and thoughts, too and I guess I make generalizations, too. Just some thoughts I had last night...

I was glad dinner was over. Then I went to a sauna/bath to relax after the hike today (the hostel owner recommended me this place). This was the best part of the day because I met a Korean woman who spoke English and I was able to talk with her and learn about local customs, employment and education from her viewpoint... that sauna experience was fun in itself because I had never been in one like that before; I can't think of a more vulnerable experience than walking into a place where there is a definite system running and you're just trying to figure out where to begin and blend in- and you're naked! I just laugh thinking about the look I probably had on my face. One thing I was glad we represented last night at that table- diversity in just about every sense of the word.

Video of the octopus and phot albums!

The last of Japan and ferry to South Korea

First day in South Korea (City- Busan)

Eating chopped-still-moving-octopus and letting fish eat the dead skin off your feet- first day in South Korea!

Another choppy entry to sum up all sorts of things.

Hi Mami, hi papi. Estoy bien. Ya llegue. Les llamo pronto!

I just got in to Busan in South Korea yesterday morning. I took a ferry from Osaka (in Japan). It departed Tuesday at 3pm and arrived yesterday at 10 am. I was joking with my mom telling her that it's like going on the Titanic movie because I got the cheapest accomodation- a bunk bed room with no windows. Top rooms run about $1700 dollars! I was like, will they let me walk on the top deck? Will I meet a Korean Leonardo DiCaprio? Yes and no. The ferry ride was so much nicer than I thought! It was a ferry cruise ship and it had a lobby with a convenience store and a restaraunt and they even offered entertainment in the evening. The entertainment was so cheesy that it was funny and really, you either clapped along with a guy playing I will survive by Gloria Gaynor on the saxophone (which was really good) or you sat in your room. Like I've said before, I try to get my money's, ok, David Bonderman's money's worth.

The language- I realized how much I started to understand short Japanese phrases when I heard Korean. I photocopied a phrase page from a Lonely Planet guide to Korea in Japan which has been very useful. Good phrases to know- hello, excuse me, thank you and I'm sorry (I still kept saying them in Japanse at the subway stations). I shared a room with two Korean women on the ferry and they were real helpful with teaching me how to pronounce words. I found Japanese to be much easier to pronounce because it was like pronouncing Spanish words. Korean is a little bit trickier, but definitely knowing Spanish still helps.

My first day in Korea----wow!!!!! Oh my gosh it was so, so fun! I really, really lucked out this time. I had just checked into the hostel and was sitting on a couch looking through all sorts of brochures and within half an hour a guy from London and a woman from Seoul (the capital in Korea, in the northern part) also arrived. The woman was talking in Korean on the phone and then turned to the guy and me and said-I am meeting my friend to see a temple right now, do you want to join me? Sure! What a better way to sight see than with a local person -and in a car! First we had a huge meal at a traditional style restaurant and we got so stuffed. Oh my gosh I ate so much. Korean food is so delicious- so spicy! And so much meat! I tried everything-including jellyfish that I mistook for noodles and was surprised (and a little freaked out after they told me what it was) by the texture. That was a rough swallow....then we went to Haedong Yonggungsa Temple which is located on a beach, it was an incredible sight to see this temple along the water like that. Then we had coffee at a little place along the beach- that was real fancy. Then we went to a fish market and had octopus- ok, but still moving octopus! The vendors scooped out the poor (but tasty) little octopus from a bucket of water, chopped it up on a wooden block and put it in a to-go box with some sesame seed sauce on the side. At first I thought, oh hell no I'm not eating something that's still moving, but after watching the woman and her friend eat and enjoy it, pues, why not? Oh, it was so weird feeling the tentactles and still feeling the small pieces move! I chewed it real fast.

Then----we drove up to a hill to see a spectacular (have I been reading tourist brochures or what?) night view of the city. About half an hour after we got back to the hostel, the woman invited us to go out again to meet up with another friend for dinner. Sure! Honestly though, I still wasn't hungry after the big lunch we had, but when I saw that big plate of noodles and chicken in spicy pepper sauce, I felt guilty at how my mouth watered. I was all of a sudden hungry again!

Then----Dr. Fish Spa!! Pretend like you're getting a pedicure but instead of soaking your feet in bubbling warm water you put your feet in this tub of water with dozens of fish that eat the dead skin off your feet! I'm serious! It was pretty cheap- 20 min. for about $2. It took me about half of the time though to actually put my feet in the water. It just seemed wrong that these fish would want to do that! It felt so, so weird and I couldn't stop laughing at how funny it felt. I still don't think I can describe that sensation. I have to admit though, my feet were pretty smooth afterwards.

I think that pretty much sums up my first day; I'll post pictures up soon!

Pictures!

I just posted pictures from the pilgrimage route here-

Shikoku Pilgrimage Walk

I've been hanging out, relaxing, not really doing much of anything these past few days. I've even been cooking in the hostel these past two days with one of the hostel staff members, Muruka. I head for Busan, South Korea by ferry in a few days.

Gaining through Losing

Ah, so, so many things to digest and think through...this is gonna be a long entry.

Right now I am sitting at this crazy internet café that I'll actually be spending the night in. It’s cool, they have these small booths (with sliding doors for privacy) with your choice of reclining seats, flat seats or regular seats. I got the reclining seat booth, just in case I wanted to sleep tonight. Each booth has a tv, PC, and a Sony Playstation. You can rent by the hour or rent it over night. This was pretty much my last resort after not finding an available hostel for tonight. There are bathrooms and even a place you can take a shower! Ah, gotta love Japan! They are super efficient.

I wrote about the house I stayed at in the countryside two weeks ago. The beautiful home (scroll down to past entry and you'll see the room I stayed in) that was built by Satomi’s parents; where we all shared pictures of families and significant milestones; where I had some of the best meals; the home where I left my backpack at while I walked the pilgrimage route; it burned down two days ago. Everyone made it out ok. I'm not sure how to write about this, since it’s kind of more of a personal story of the lives of others, but it just had a crazy effect on me. I called Rob Friday evening (as per my regular check in with them on how I was doing and bouncing off ideas for the next day's route) and he said, “This is going to sound like a soap opera, but Satomi's parents' house burned down this afternoon...It’s not clear how it happened yet...Yeah, everything is gone. Her parents are real sorry and apologize because your things are also gone.” I was so shocked and felt so terrible for the family; for the loss of generations of wedding pictures, and of grandparent pictures, of shrines, of the father's pianos, paintings, of the mother's kitchen, of childhood memories...it was just so bizarre; I was headed back there two days before it happened. And my things, my things! Well, honestly, it just felt trivial feeling sad about my backpack when an entire home just burned down, but I still did feel the loss. The family is figuring things out still, and I was feeling sort of out of place. Feeling like, now what? Do I just keep going? How do I start up again? What was I carrying in my backpack again? I went through a range of emotions Friday evening and I still had one more temple to visit the next day.

Kyoko. Ah, what a beautiful spirit. I was resting at one of the pilgrim rest spots on the route on Friday early afternoon. I had my feet up, and I was just lying down, exhausted after another hike up and down another temple. Then comes this woman exhausted and plops on the table/bench beside me. Hi! We both greeted each other and smiled. It was so nice to finally see a woman on the route! I felt so empowered. This is the beauty of the pilgrimage route. Everyone you meet is so nice; there is this instant camaraderie with fellow pilgrims because you know they just came from where you did, and you are headed in the exact location they are, so you go together. She didn’t speak English, but did know a few words that got us through a general understanding of what we were trying to say. It turned out we were headed for the same minshuku (Japanese style guest home/bed/dinner and breakfast) that evening and were headed back home (she was headed for Osaka) the following day! Great! It was so nice walking with someone else that day, it was a looooong, tough day and I honestly don't think I would have walked that entire day if I hadn't met her; she was very set on walking the entire route. So, I toughed it out, too; walking 17 miles that day. Along the way we came across another woman, in her 60s, who Kyoko had met earlier. We all greeted each other, took a rest and walked together to the minshuku. I was so happy to be with other women for a change, I got such a good vibe from them and felt reenergized. There was a beautiful sunset that afternoon, too! Imagine walking along the cape of an island, this long, long stretch of land curving along the side. Oh, it was such an amazing view. That evening is when I got the news about the home and my belongings. With the encouragement of Rob and Satomi, I still went up to the last temple yesterday and continued walking with Kyoko.

It was such a blessing to meet Kyoko; first because I really think I got that far on the route because I walked with her. I was seriously considering heading back Friday (and I had not slept well for the past two nights, having a weird, unsettling vibe in the mornings, and now I know why) but of course, now I am so glad I stuck with it. It was like playing Pictionary trying to explain to Kyoko what had happened (and why I looked so distraught that evening). And secondly, because the next morning (yesterday) after the hike down from the temple (that was the most challenging hike ever...oh, I could say so much about that hike alone) she offered to house me for the evening. Oh, thank you, thank you! It was so nice to have someone to walk with, and just be with while I was still gathering my thoughts. Overall, it was good. The hike up was difficult, and there was nothing else I could really focus on but the road. I loved staying at Kyoko's place- you can tell so much about a person by looking into their homes (and I felt so fortunate to get this opportunity to know a little more about her). She had pictures of Buddhas, of Mother Theresa, of Machu Picchu; she had sage (sage!) in a shell; and she was also in the middle of moving. I was emotionally moved to see how, despite having a small space, and having her place practically turned upside down with boxes and bags everywhere, she still invited me to stay with her, and insisted I sleep on the bed. Honestly, I think most people I know (myself included before this experience) would not have offered up our place in this condition (or who knows? Maybe so after knowing the state our new friend was in). We had a light breakfast together this morning, and shared contact information. She said “body in Osaka...mind and spirit in Shikoku.” I felt the same way. Using her English/Japanese dictionary, she wrote with her contact information “I am very glad to meet you.” Oh, me too! We smiled and had watery eyes. She will continue back on the walk in a few days after she moves...

Ay, so many things to recount! I am just giving the Cliff Note version of everything! I know most of these experiences are just for me to live, which I do, but I also like remembering them through writing and sharing them. And besides, I'm rambling and spending so much time here because I have a full night of internet access- and Imma get my money's worth!

...after breakfast she walked me to the train station. We hugged and said goodbye and I went up the escalator to get to the train track back to Kyoto, where I was before the pilgrimage and Satomi's parents' home. I looked back one last time and she was still standing there watching. We waved one last time and smiled. And that was it. Just like that, such a significant person comes in and out of my life just like that. We couldn't clearly communicate, but she told me enough to know that I also left an impression on her. I thought of what my friend Andrea B. always says, “People come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime.”

I spent today day feeling homeless. I didn't have a place to stay and I was just sort of walking around the streets wondering, where am I going to sleep tonight? Fortunately, I was able to hang out at the hostel I stayed in the last time I was in Kyoto. They didn't have any rooms available for tonight, but a staff member who I already had a rapport with from my last visit, let me hang out and use the computer and phone for a few hours. She also helped me out by calling a couple of nearby hostels with no luck and recommending me this place where I am at now.

And so for my backpack-and all my lost belongings- seriously, dealing with the travel insurance and filing a claim is BS and please, if you are going to get travel insurance, pay those extra $5 for the luggage upgrade (seriously, what is travel insurance for if I can’t get simple assistance with something like lost/damaged luggage??? Ok, I know there are plenty of answers for that, but seriously, this claim should be easier to file). Ironically, I told Rob Thursday night, “After surviving with my small backpack for two weeks, I have been asking myself, what do I really need for 8 months?”I honestly think the walk is really helping me stay calm and not freak out...I did basically lose most everything (well, I have an extra change of clothes and a few pairs of socks and underwear), but I just need to keep reminding myself that everything I lost I can recover (slowly, but surely). I was planning on going to South Korea this week but now I will spend this week trying to recover enough in order to move on (Japan is expensive). I just feel so grateful for so many of the experiences and encounters I had (that really felt like miracles) along the route, and I am glad that I stuck to my goal. Yeah, I don’t have my backpack, but man, I get around a lot easier without carrying such a heavy load. It's like I got the opportunity to rebuild my belongings and really think of what I'll be carrying a little more carefully.

I'll post pictures of the pilgrimage walk soon.

Torture vs. Adventure...?

Well, not exactly, torture, but yes, my thought process went something like that after today's walk, so I'm back at the hotel in the city by the train station. Part of me was like, already? You're giving yourself a break after only two days of walking again? No, but this time, I really had to pay attention to my body and my gut. Yesterday was a good walk, but today was a really hard hike up another mountain-and it was cold and pouring. It hadn't been long enough since hiking Temple 12 to want to climb a mountain like that again. Oh　and I was so mad-no more like pissed off hiking today, it was so much! I would half cuss at the trail and half laugh at myself thinking, what if someone was nearby? The trail wasn't as long as getting to Temple 12 but the path was not as clear (many times it was just mud) and it was much steeper. I would be hiking up for a while, make a turn only to see another (freakin) mountain of steps. Pretend like you're looking at the very top of a 10 story building-ok, that's how a steep hike up looked. It was raining, it was cold and I was sweating! My glasses kept fogging up because of my breath. It was already raining when I started, but I thought the rain would go away since the previous days had been nice. But no, it started raining harder on my way down and it made the walk down even more difficult. On my way down this guy caught up to me, his name is Eric and he's from Altadena. Hi! Where are you from? I'm from America. From the US? Me too! (This part about being from "America" and being "American" reminded me of another discussion/rant I talked about elsewhere. I'll post that one up after this). I'm from La Puente! Wow! It was a trip to find ourselves here on this same trail so, so far away from where we call home. He was the first non-Japanese person I had seen and young person, too on the trail. He was wearing a Bruin hat and a UCLA engineering sweater (uh...let me guess, you go to UCLA??) it reminded me of a friend (Eligio) that I would almost always see wearing some sort of UCLA gear. Eric had just graduated.　(Jeanette, he was a total Phelps you would have loved him). We started walking together and he had decided to take the ropeway up to the next temple (I had planned to hike it) but at that point I was coughing, shivering and pretty soaked from the rain, so I decided to walk a few more kilometers and take the ropeway with him. It was an incredible view. Too bad it was still pretty cloudy so we couldn't totally appreciate the forests but still, we were at least able to sit and look around and not watch out for every step; there was something serene about going up in the cable car and seeing all the trees and rivers below. Everyone in the cable car was quiet looking down, so was I, but I was also amused at watching everyone else- what were they thinking? Where did they come from? Why did they decide to come today?

Anyway, by the end I was really tired and I was drenched (I had water in every crack you can imagine) and my feet were soaked and I felt a blister forming on the back of one of my heels from the wet socks. My cough was getting worse. That's when I decided to go back to Tokushima (the city I'm in now) and go back to the hotel I was staying in a few days ago; at least I could count on free meals, free coffee, free internet and a washer and dryer here! (geez, am I spoiled, or what? Can I not live without a few amenities for a while?) I parted ways with Eric and I went back to this hotel- familiar places are comforting. I'm going to stay here two nights, since it's also going to be raining tomorrow. That's the nice thing about this trip- I was given the time and money. I can be adventurous, but not at the expense of my health.

*Tip* Wet/damp shoes? Stuff some newspaper in them and the paper will soak up the water.

Thoughts on the walk

I'm in a real good place right now. I've been walking following this route called the Shikoku Henro- a visit to 88 temples around Shikoku in Japan. This route is the oldest pilgrimage route in Japan; it has been walked for over a thousand years. It was founded by Kobo-Dasishi, a Japanese monk and also founder of Shingon Buddhism, a Japanese branch (best way to describe it) of Buddhism. This is a very well known route and is most often followed in the spring time, when the weather is beautfiul (unlike say now, typhoon season!). Still, though, there are many people walking and visiting the temples. The route is about 900 miles in total and it takes about 6 weeks to complete it walking. It is a very difficult emotional, mental and physical challenge, and oh so good. I will only be walking for two weeks, it's about as much as my body and budget can take at this point. I learned about this route from a friend after sharing my interests of nature and spirituality in the different places I'd be visiting. At first I hesitated doing only part of it- I thought, would it be authentic? Would I be cheating since I'm not doing the whole thing- and continuosly? Ah, but as I read and as I learn, everybody's route is different and unique. There is no wrong or right way to follow this route. There are several groups that arrive to the temples on charter buses, all geared up to hike up the last steps of the temple. I almost feel a little bitter watching them get off the bus as I'm huffing and puffing away, but no, this is their walk. They recite the hymns at the temples, I don't, so who is to say what is right and wrong? Not me. Everyone has a different reason for going on this route and I went for the experience of feeling in isolation with temples and nature. Oh, but it is just as much about this as the process of walking for so long! So far I'm at about 78 kilometers covered (about 48 mi).

Everday I have a goal set of how long I walk (thanks to Rob and Satomi for helping map this out) with an ending destination of a place to sleep (sometimes its a hotel, sometimes its a temple). Everyday is different with its own challenges. The day before yesterday, getting to Temple 12- Shosanji temple was arduous. It's on a mountain as my dad would say, para la chingada (really far, far away). The weather forecast the night before said it would be raining all day and other pilgrims that were staying at the same hotel I was had cancelled the hike. The people at the hotel were really nice and helped me map out a bus route to get me to as close as I could. What was supposed to be a 7 km hike ended up being 15 km one. I got lost on the trail, and had to backtrack. It was getting late, I hadn't reached the top, I felt like I was the only living soul on the mountain (at least on that trail) that day, and it was raining. What a masochist! I later realized I was on the driving road, which explained why I didn't see any pedestrian signs or encourgament ribbons tied to trees. I started crying at one point feeling frustrated and wanting to turn around and try tomorrow, oh I was so tired! Then, a car passes by and I asked the lady driver how much longer "about 0.2 km" she said. It was more like 1.2 km. Once I got to the top, to the temple, it's like all my frustration went away. I was still tired, and exhausted, but I felt so accomplished. It was funny finally reaching the top and seeing two charter buses filled with pilgrims get there at the same time. I kept telling myself- to each their own. I sat at the temple for a while, then thanked all the spirits for guiding me and getting me to this point. That mountain felt very alive, very spiritual. There are small burial places and shrines along the way; I never felt alone or afraid. If anything, I felt protected. I got my stamp (every temple stamps visitor's books/journals with a calligraphy signature) on a blank sheet (the man said he could not write on my lined journal) and I got a free cab ride to my hotel that night. The walk down the next morning was beautiful, seeing the mountains with the clouds! It was so incredible. Once in a while I would look back to see how much I had climbed, after a while, I couldn't even see the top anymore.

People are so nice to walking pilgrims! People have pulled over and given me drinks, candy and this lady gave me a real pretty charm yesterday. Oh my gosh and on the first day I forgot my wallet at a temple and I didn't even notice! I was walking and this lady pulls up slowly in her car and says something and is holding up my wallet! She followed the route for about 2 km to find the owner (me), and she did. I am so, so thankful for that woman.

I don't know if this entry is sounding all choppy or scattered but there are so many things to say about this experience. It's been so good to clear my mind! As this other man said in a book about this route- it really takes you to a pure state of mind. When you are walking that much for that long, the only things that are really of importance are water, food, your feet (keeping them dry!) and where you will rest for that night. Everything else, any other worry that preoccupies you too much, literally weighs me down so I really don't think all that much about too many things for long.

Now I am resting. Today I am at a nice hotel back in the city. Civilization! Yesterday I combined two days in one. I was so dead tired, but I wanted to get to my destination- a rest in a nice hotel back by the train station. So here I am, I checked myself in for two nights at this hotel that gives you all sorts of nice free stuff (free facial masks, hair bands, manicure creams!) and letting my body rest. "What a priviledge," I thought as I walked into the marble and glass hotel lobby; to have the resources to decide to take a break and rest at a place like this. So yeah, it's a tough long walk, but I remind myself that this entire experience is a priviledge and a choice. It's been great ;). This man's quote reminds me of this experience:

"When I have climbed the mountain in front of me, an even higher peak appears on the other side. When I get over the peak an even higher one rises, and I wonder if I can conquer that one as well. In this way, I continually see new challenges. It is only when I look back that I realized that I have reached a great height."- Norimasa Nishida.

Peregrinación

Ahora es mi ultima noche por dos semanas en la casa de los papás de Satomi. Mañana me voy a caminar una ruta de una peregrinación en la isla de Shikoku (aqui en Japón). Si, sola. Satomi y Rob la han caminada unas cuantas veces y me ayudaron planear mi ruta por dos semanas. Me va ir bién. Es mucho, mucho caminar, como unos 15-20 kilometros por dia, aveces mas, aveces menos. Es muy cansado, y mas que nada, es un challenge (I know, que pocha) mental. Escribo en unos dias.

I've been doing really well, spending a relaxing time in Koniya. Tomorrow I head for Shikoku on a pilgrimage route for two weeks. Satomi and Rob have been so instrumental in helping me plan my route, where to stay and give me all sorts of advice. The walk will be beautiful- I'll be walking (ok, more like hiking up) to some mountains, through valleys, and along the coast for a while. It will also be challenging and I'm sure I'll be tested in so many more ways. I'm excited, anxious and really looking forward to it. I'm leaving my large backpack here, I'll only be carrying a few things on me and then I'll return to digest, say hi to a new life (Satomi should have had the baby by then) and make my way to Korea. It's amazing what a "need versus want" mentality can do to make a lighter, easier load to carry.

A Break from my Break

Mami y Papi: Estoy bien. Platicamos ahora en la tarde (era noche para ustedes) y aqui estoy en la casa de los papas de Satomi (la señora que esta embarazada). Tuve un dia muy relajado. Camine por el pueblo y cene muy, muy rico. Esta parada ha sido un descanso de toda la movedera. Y la señora es tan comprensiva y atenta- ella viajo por un año entero cuando estaba mas joven y supo exactamente como me sentia. Me preguntaba, como te sientes? Y a cada rato me decia- tu relajate, no te preocupes de nada. Como que si estas en tu casa. Eso me ha ayudado para relajarme lla que si, como que me estaba estresando un poco, y tambien sintiendome un poco sola. Anoche tambien me di un baño caliente en una tina onda. Para los Japanoses, tomarse un baño de tina caliente antes de un baño en la regadera es casi requisito. Todos los hogares tienen su tina y su regadera, y todos, desde los niños hasta los ancianos, se toman sus baños. Ahora durante la cena estabamos viendo las noticias y me senti como en la casa, cuando mi papa ve las noticias en Galavisión (y Baily como esta?). Después vimos otro programa que se trato de un carpintero Japones que fue a un pueblo en Taliandia para ayudarles a construir una rueda (a water mill) para pasar agua por un rio y a la vez moler el arroz para que los niños no tuvieran que madrugar para hacerlo. Senti como que si estuvieramos viendo un programa en National Geographic o TLC. Si nos miraras, se me hacia curioso- todos comiendo en la mesa bajita y sentados en el suelo (haci comen tradicionalmente) y mirando la television en una pantalla grande y plana (flatscreen, real nice!). Y tambien tienen internet inalambrico y los dos (Satomi y su esposo) tiene laptops! Haci que me siento totalmente descansada, relajada, segura, y conectada. Y me siguen diciendo, quedate mas tiempo, que alvaco, cual es tu itenario? Y si, la verdad es que, pues, no tengo prisa. Dos dias mas, o dos semanas aqui o en otro lugar no hacen pasar ocho meses mas rapidos. Haci que, pues, luego les digo que decidi haer. Okay, les llamare mas seguido y tratare de escribir mas en este espacio. Los quiero mucho. Hasta pronto.

I have been resting and eating better than I have been since I arrived to Japan. It’s like I’m on a retreat from my trip! I am staying in a friend’s parent’s home in a small village in the countryside about an hour and a half north of Kobe in Japan. It is so beautiful, green and peaceful! She and her husband are also staying here (she is pregnant and traditionally the daughter will go back home to deliver, so she’s due any day now!) The train ride over was stunning. The train route goes through deep mountains with forests along the sides. There was also this long big river with clear water that I could see from the window (we were like on a bridge over many parts of the route. Then the train would go through tunnels though the mountains and would go out again revealing another amazing view. We went in and out of tunnels- it felt like we were dolphins swimming fast going in and out of the water (it’s the only way I can describe how it felt). Other parts of the route had rice fields along both sides and beautiful old homes. Oh, the train ride alone was so, so nice. I kept feeling we were getting farther and farther away from the city, which was a relief; I was getting a little tired and overwhelmed of subways, noise and hostels. The village is nestled along the side of a mountain, I know I keep saying this, but everything really is so green and peaceful.



I thought this would be a day pit stop to drop my belongings before going on the 88-temple pilgrimage route in Shikoku (another island in Japan) for two weeks (more about this pilgrimage later), but I’ve been here for two days now, and I’ll probably be here for another day or so. Satomi (friend whose parent’s house I’m staying in) is so nice and attentive. When I got in (thanks to Rob, her husband, for meeting up with me in Kyoto to get back to her parent’s home) she asked me, how are you feeling? How are you? Oh, you must be tired, no? Make yourself at home, just relax, don’t worry about a thing.



Oh, bless her and her parents! She showed me the room I would stay in- a really beautiful traditional room with tatami mat floors and rice paper window doors (the front part of the house was recently remodeled in traditional Japanese style). Ah, my own room! The family was also celebrating Satomi’s nephew’s first birthday so it was extra special to stay with the family and have such a great dinner! You know, I have to be honest, I don’t think I’ve given the food in Japan a chance and I stick with soba (noodles) and light foods because I never know what to order. Then afterwards, I took a long, long hot bath in a deep tub (there was this digital thermostat next to it to keep the water at a comfortably hot 40c- this house is high tech!). I feel that Satomi almost knew exactly how I felt- she traveled for an entire year in her early 20s around many parts of Europe and Japan; she knew what it’s like to constantly be moving and living out of a bag for a long time, so I think she was really trying to make me feel welcomed and relaxed. She keeps saying, just stay as long as you like, don’t feel pressured to move on (until the baby comes, of course, which will be for another week, according to schedule, but ya never know)…



…to be honest, yes, it’s only been about two weeks, but I had been feeling overwhelmed and lonely (if you can’t tell by how appreciative I am of my new environment). It’s beginning to sink in that I’ll be doing this for eight months and that I’ll be having to adjust to a new mode of transportation, customs, food and language (at least survival phrases) quite a bit. It really hit me the other night when I was trying to make it back to Kyoto after spending a full day on Miyajima (a beautiful island off of Hiroshima, pictures above are from the island, where deer were wandering freely) that same night (that was my mistake, I should have just spent the night there but I had already booked/paid another hostel for that night back in Kyoto). A man at the train station was trying to tell me there were no more connecting routes to Kyoto from Osaka and basically showed me the door. It was late at night, I was tired, I just learned that there were no more routes back to where I needed to get back to (or so I thought) and I realized that I wasn’t going to make it back in time to check-in at the hostel- oh, and I didn’t know the phone number to call and let them know, either. A few other things (overwhelmingly good lessons) also got me worked up and just made me feel emotionally drained (after two weeks, how silly and dramatic, no?)

The idea of this travel fellowship is amazing, so you'd really have to wonder why in the world would I have felt like this, right? But I was tired of moving constantly, of staying in hostels and of needing to figure things out all the time, among several other things- and this is only the beginning! In the end, I did make it back to the hostel ok- things always work out. Looking back, I just needed to breathe. So, this retreat to Satomi’s parent’s house has been so healthy for me to relax, be in a home and sort of reflect and learn from these past two weeks…definitely, I’ve learned that it’s ok to not sight see everyday. It’s ok to just spend the morning or day at a coffee shop reading and writing. I need to get out of the “vacation/limited time” mode and stop feeling like I need to squeeze everything in two or three weeks…I also think part of this feeling comes from the nature of the place that I began in- a very expensive country that is super punctual. Essentially, I am traveling for a living, so my sense of time and pace will need to change, and slowly, I think they are (they definitely have been since staying here).



So yeah, this is where I am at the moment, adjusting to this new idea, and spending a real lovely time with Satomi, her husband and her parents (and her extended family) eating great meals, and getting ready for the next move- Shikoku.

Scattered

I just posted some pictures - http://picasaweb.google.com/rociomendoza3/Japan#

Quick check in. I am doing well, writing from a hostel in Kyoto (this picture is a view of where I'm writing from). I just arrived here after about a 5 hour trip from Tokyo (after so many transfers and trying to find the right line). It is warm and humid and carrying my backpack for what felt like all day today was no fun. But the minute I walked up the stairs from the underground subway I just stopped grumbling. I was taken aback by the sight- I was in the middle of a busy intersection surrounded by historical buildings on one side and a river/canal (think LA river but this one actually has water) on the other side. All along the river there is grass and houses that all look really beautiful and old. I've never been to Vietnam, but somehow I imagine that this is what it would look like (ok, probably the Hollywood version). Kyoto is known as the cultural/historical heart of Japan and it definitely has that feeling- very different from the madness and excitement of Tokyo. But I have to admit, I was so surprised and impressed to find so much preserved nature, temples and shrines even in the middle of Tokyo.

This hostel is a trip. I think it's run by a bunch of Japanese teenager/pot smokers. It has a funky vibe with postcards and posters and stickers all along the walls of the hallways, stairs and lounge rooms (think club bathroom stalls). Behind this computer there are stickers of Bjork, Lauryn Hill, Ali G Indahouse movie, Swiss Miss hot chocolate, The Mask animated series, Foxy Brown, Destinys Child, Skippy Peanut Butter, Quaker Oatmeal, old school picture of Whitney Houston, and tons of other random people/things. Overall, if I had to give this lounge room a name, I would call it the I love Bob Marley and Marijuana room. The sun is beginning to set and it looks so beautiful outside. It has been cloudy all day but the sun just peeked out. You can see layers of green mountains with the smoke rising through on one side and rows of tall building on the other side. I know that from here on out the only constant thing on this trip will be change, but I'm still trying to find routines for myself in the mornings and nights, and also trying to figure out some logic to how I'm packing- which, by the way, I overpacked. I'm going to have to figure out how to part with some stuff already . I've become obssesed with Zip-Lock baggies and I compartmentalize everything in my day bag (Jeanette feel like Josh from that TV show on Bravo). I'm reading this entry and it definitely reflects how I'm feeling- scattered.

Ok, maybe that wasn't such a quick check-in.

Konnichiwa!

Por donde empiezo? I am so, so tired. I think my body is still getting used to the hour difference (it's only 16 hours behind Japan). Overall, I am very well, thank goodness. I landed safely, and got to the hostel without any problems. Seriously, that was my greatest concern- getting to the hostel. I knew it was 40 miles away from the airport and that meant getting on the train and transfering to a metro line to get there; and no, I didn't research how I would get there before I left.

Side note: what I like about this computer I'm on is that it's 15 minutes for 100 yen ($1), then it keeps kicking you out if you add more money. This is good for two reasons (that I've thought about): it reminds me that I am spending money every 15 minutes (otherwise, I would loose track of time) and it reminds me to not spend so much time in front of a computer. I do enough of this at home (maybe not exactly as much as my Myspace freaks siblings).

It was a long, 11 hour (non-stop) flight to Tokyo. I was only able to sleep about half of it. We got two meals, snacks and movies during the flight. I remember getting so excited to see the meal cart on the plane when I was little. I would go to Mexico and we'd always get served some sort of Mexican meal (I clearly remember eating a tamal!). I sat next to a young woman who was returning home after spending a month in Los Angeles learning English-perfect! I practiced my (extremely limited) Japanese and she continued practicing her English. She was helpful in helping me locate my destination station (this made it much, much easier to ask for directions at the airport).

Tokyo is so, so big with high-rise buildings everywhere. The hostel I am staying at is on the 18th floor of one of them. It has an amazing view in the day and night! At night I sleep with my head facing out the window and just keep saying, I'm here, I'm really here and just chuckle. Ni me la creo.

I shared first two nights of the hostel room with two older Japanase ladies (in their mid-60s). I was relieved to see them when I walked in; they felt like grandmas. They were visiting Tokyo to hike Mt. Takaosan the next morning, bright and early. It was 8pm, I was so exhausted and disoriented from the flight and the trip over (at 4pm when the plane landed to Tokyo, my body still thought it was midnight) and I was just unpacking when one of the ladies asked, "go hike?", pointing to my boots and pointing to a map of the trails. I just wanted to sleep for like, two days. "Uh..." I looked around at my bags, looked out the window, and I thought, pues, what else do you have to do? "Ok," I replied. And that's how I spent my first day in Tokyo, known for it's population size and high-rise buildings, deep in a forest observing nature and visiting beautiful Buddhist temples along the way.

Blessed.

I had a going away pozole dinner gathering at my house this evening. It's really sinking in now- I'm leaving the day after tomorrow. It was nice combining my friends from college, high school and family together for this evening. I got so many positive vibes and good wishes; everyone had this gleam in their eyes...it's just crazy to see them; I've know all of them for quite some time (through the ups and downs, the good and the bad). It was nice. I was talking with one of them this evening about how we seldom stop and reflect on our own paths and triumphs and really, think about how great we are! Yes, we all are, really. It's just that sometimes it takes a little bit longer for us to see that in ourselves (and for some of us it will be a life long process). After reading the going away cards and talking with my family and friends tonight I had that brief moment; I was thinking, wow, I really got this fellowship. I'm really doing this. I'm really leaving...I am so blessed to have such an amazing and supportive family. I am not a parent, so I don't have any sense of what it could feel like to see your daughter load up a backpack and just trek around the globe all by herself. They have hidden their anxieties quite well (although my dad does try to pick fights with me, but I know this is his coping mechanism).

Now I'm looking forward to loading up my new ipod (thank you Maribel!!) and make any last minute errands. Oh yeah, and brush up on conversational Japanese on youtube; apparently, I've been studying the wrong thing. I think I'm going to be greeting people asking them are they cold or something.

Preparing. Mentally.

From Frommer's website: http://www.frommers.com/destinations/tokyo/0085020015.html

Getting Around

"Your most frustrating moments in Tokyo will probably occur when you find you're totally lost. Maybe it will be in a subway or train station, where all you see are signs in Japanese, or on a street somewhere as you search for a museum, restaurant, or bar. At any rate, accept here and now that you will get lost if you are at all adventurous and eager to strike out on your own."

Ok, I just need to keep reminding myself of this and be patient and if anything, I need to just laugh (at myself).

How are you? How are you feeling? Are you excited? Are you ready????

Of course I am excited to leave IN THREE WEEKS. It feels a little surreal...

I am back at home spending time with my family and friends. I get a sense of normalcy and familiarity when I am at Chili's with my high school friends, or sitting at El Torito with las Comadres, or laying out in the backyard with my mom catching up on all the family chisme; it's like I'm on a holiday break only this time I don't go back to Seattle and I'm leaving on this 8 month trip around the world in three weeks. In fact, I don't live in Seattle anymore... all my belongings are at my parent's house and soon they will be in Moreno Valley. My parent's are going to move out of their home in La Puente; we've been living here for about 20 years and when I return, they'll be 40 miles east of here...where will I go when I return? There are a few things I need to think about when I'm on the trip but for now I am focusing on paying my bills, setting up auto-pay and making sure I have a few logistics down (ie, where am I going to sleep when I land in Tokyo September 15th?) Maye that will be it's own entry: all the details of leaving the country for 8 months- so many details to figure out! This is what I need to figure out so that I can stress just a little less when I'm heading out.

The fun part of packing

(When I was packing up and moving out)

Oh packing...some parts are tedious and boring but then you get to the good stuff- the drawers and shoe boxes with all sorts of random cards, mementos, love letters and pictures. Of course I don't just transfer them from one place to another with out reading and revisiting all those moments and feelings. The crazy part is coming across letters that I thought I had ripped up and trashed and didn't. It's nice to read back some of these things; I smile, give a little sigh (ok, sometimes a big one), pack it away and move on. Now that's a good, healthy sign of closure.

Because I'm a Chicana? A Woman of Color? From a low SES?

"Ya te graduaste, ya ponte a trabajar!!" ("You graduated already, now go get a job!")

"Veínte mil dólares, no mas para viajar??" ("Twenty thousand dollars, just to travel??")

Esto es lo que me dijo mi papá al enterarse de la beca que había aplicado en febrero. Estabámos en el estacionamiento de Knott's Berry Farm y estaba de visita con mi familía por una semana después del trimestre de invierno. Como que no se sentía muy agusto ni con la idea de que pudiera ganar una beca como esta. No pienso que hay una razón en particular, pero quiero pensar que lo entiendo, y sí, yo también tengo mis opiniones sobre esta beca.

Overall, my family is excited and very proud that I received this fellowship, but I know they are also of course anxious and a little nervous for me. Most of my female cousins, neighbors and friends don't move out of their parent's house (unless it's for school) until we get married-- and this is especially the case in my parent's hometown in Mexico. Even if we have babies out of wedlock, we'll bring home the baby and sometimes the father to live back with our parents. I never moved out for college; it was only a 14 mile commute each way to Cal State Fullerton and in southern California, that was just enough time for an edition of Uprising Now! on KPFK.

Graduate school, now that was a different story. I decided to attend the University of Washington and that was pretty much the reason why I moved out of the house; otherwise, I'd still be living at home. Thinking about it from my family's perspective, I was living at home just two years ago- eating dinner at the table (sometimes) and going to mandatory Sunday mass. And now, their oldest daughter just got awarded some crazy amount of money to solely travel and "wander and wonder" completely alone. Wow, God Bless America, my dad would say...

...and I have been having my own inner conflict with this fellowship, even as I applied to it back in February; but I knew that I would have regretted not applying (and not knowing if I'll ever return to the UW as a student), so I applied.

Before I go off on a rant I must say that yes, I feel blessed and humbled to have received such an award; I still process what this is every day. If there was ever a time in my life thus far to embark on such a journey it would be now; I have no hesitation about this in my mind. But I still can't help but to feel some remorse. Who is this fellowship accessible to? UW undergraduates in the Honors Program and UW Graduate and Professional students. What are the demographics of the UW Honors Program? Does the American Ethnic Studies department have an Honors Program? I was talking with another Bonderman Fellow who just returned from her journey. She is also a Woman of Color and it was so validating to talk with her about the fellowship and how we felt about being awarded so much money to travel and not be expected to give or do anything in return. No real reciprocity, only that we participate in a panel when we return (if we return to Seattle), and a thank you letter to David Bonderman, the donor. What values do we continue to infuse here? Maybe the application and interview process helps the selection committee think about those that will be critical about receiving this award.

I go back and forth between these two thoughts on this award-

1. After researching the experiences of Latina/o undocumented students in college and writing up a thesis on implications and practices for the future, I will now travel for eight months just to hang out- no research, no work. What an individualistic thing to do! Don't you have any social responsibility, Rocio?!

2. Rocio, how many people and especially People of Color get this kind of once-in-a-lifetime opportunity? Girl, you better put on that Maiden Voyage backpack and get on that plane September 14th! You go for so many others who may never get a chance like this...

...yeah, number 2 seems to outweigh number 1. In the grand scheme of things, 8 months is not a long time. I'll be back before I know it.

Maybe this is what it is for me. I feel I am already getting so much out of this experience even before taking off. It's all about the mental preparation for me and perhaps this is my own process and learning experience from the award--- to feel deserving. To live it. Maybe I can also return and make some high-risk financial investments, make billions of dollars and set up a travel fellowship back at Fullerton. For now, I know that I don't go alone on this trip. My communities of family and friends are also going with me.