Amazing what a train ride can do...

I read the last entry I wrote about my first impressions of India and I crack up; I admit it got the best of me for a while but I am really enjoying this part of the trip. I've learned to decline offers on the streets with politeness and good humor (as long as they don't follow me for a few meters I'm ok). I've learned not everyone is out to sell me something or hit on me- some people really are interested in just talking! Two days ago I took an overnight train ride from Agra (after visiting the Taj Mahal, incredible) to Varanasi which I must say (at the expense of sounding cheesy) has altered the rest of my trip through India, and the remainder of these next four months of traveling. There's something calming, soothing and meditative (is that a word?) about crossing through countrysides, having hours and hours to read and write and just think. I reflected on these past four months, the learning lessons thus far, and where I was headed for this next month in India. I think I lost sight of this running around sight seeing through the state of Rajasthan, which was beautiful and educational but something was not sitting well. I was suckered into buying something I didn't want (and that I couldn't get a refund on) back in Delhi and it was either taking this "two week" tour (which I had just completed upon leaving Agra) or walking away from the deal altogether; I figured I might as well sight see. I tried making the best of it (the sights were amazing) despite the resentment and broken spirit I had from the situation I was in. This out of all experiences I've had so far, has REALLY challenged me to just let it go, look forward and think, what can you do now? As I said, that train ride to Varanasi really allowed me to refocus and think about what I'm doing here. I also re-read a copy of the essay I wrote for the fellowship that I had glued to a journal. I knew what I had to do. I looked at all these pre-purchased train tickets that would have zipped me through the entire country, set them aside, and took out my guide book to rework the entire next month. No more Mumbai, Goa, Bengalore, Chennai and Kolkata; it was too ambitious and not in tune with what I imagined myself doing here.

What now? Well, I hope to be in Kathmandu (Nepal) within the next two days, return to India for a 10 day meditation course and end in Kolkata. It's like asking yourself what's better, eating a whole pie or savoring a slice? Yes, I'll have a slice of that pie, please.